Take the fish-out-of-water hilarity of “The Simple Life” and combine it with the romantic charm of “The Bachelor,” and you have the CW's new dating show “Farmer Wants a Wife.”
Only two problems. I never found “The Simple Life” that hilarious or “The Bachelor” all that charming. So you can imagine how I feel about "Farmer Wants a Wife."
The premise - or at least what we are supposed to believe - is that 10 women who are sick of "big city relationships" are heading to the sticks to compete for a real man of the earth, in this case farmer Matt (although Matt seems like more of a man of the salon, what with his bleached teeth and waxed chest).
The women are pretty much exactly what you would expect from cliché reality casting 101: sassy and very stupid.
Dalton Ross, of Entertainment Weekly, reviews “Farmer Wants a Wife.”
Stephanie, for instance, resisted getting close to the chicken coop for fear of going blind. Unfortunately, Stephanie fell victim at the first elimination ceremony, which featured the unintentionally hilarious line, “One of you does not have an egg under your chicken.”
Of course, the whole point of this show is to humiliate the women as much as possible, which is what they probably deserve for pretending to seek love, when fame via a TV show is clearly what they crave.
Take Josie, for instance, who strains at every opportunity to paint herself as the untamed bad girl, albeit a staunchly Republican one. At one point Josie compares dating to fighting in the Middle East, which is perhaps one of the lamest love and war analogies I have ever heard in my entire life.
I have little to no doubt that those continuing to watch "Farmer Wants a Wife" will encounter much worse as the series continues. It's all too fitting that one of the contestants in the premiere stepped in some cow manure because this show is a one big pile of - well, you know.